Have you ever thought something was great and to your shock and awe.....you were the ONLY one that thought it was great. Do you still remember what that felt like? Do you still believe that what you created whether it was art, design, a written paper, or maybe just an idea was good? Actually do you have conviction and still believe it was great? I don't feel delusional. I look in the mirror and in my humble opinion I don't LOOK delusional. Correction let's just say I don't look delusional after my first cup of coffee.
Yesterday started like any other day. I had spent the last three days working on all my school projects. I woke up feeling well prepared. My husband packed my lunch and put it in my little red cooler. I got into my car turned the IPOD on and hit shuffle and Louis Armstrong started singing "What a Wonderful World". Yes it was going to be a fine day.
Flash forward......REALITY check. It was a fine day for some people but that "some" did not include me. First up for the day was drafting. I got my assignment back and I scored a 6.5. That would be great if it was 6.5 out of 5. But it was 6.5 out of 10. For someone who was used to getting straight A's the last time she was in college I saw that score and felt like my finger had accidentally been put into an electrical socket. I took a deep breath and made an appointment to see the instructor after class. Clearly there must be a mistake. After class I spoke to my instructor and showed him my most recent work. I with confidence pointed out my improvement.......but out came the red pen and he promptly showed me my errors. Ugh......that sinking feeling and warm flush that sometimes starts in my toes and somehow end in little bits of perspiration on my upper lip was taking over. He said some words that in retrospect were probably encouragement.......but all I could hear was a buzzing in my ears.....and something about being a slow learner. Me......a slow learner??????? I think he meant that with kindness........but it felt more like a punch in the stomach. I gathered my belongings and crawled to my car to gather my thoughts. After an hour or so I decided to focus on my evening class. I had nothing to worry about. I was doing in oral presentation about my abstract design........seriously I had this one in the bag.
My abstract design was indeed a little dark......well depressing would be a better word. I had worked on it for hours. It was an intricate design full of tiny details. Every line and dot and squiggle had a meaning. Surely it was beautiful in fact at a glance it was a little Frank Lloyd Wright mixed with a little Joan Miro.
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But best laid plans sometimes don't lead you to success....or so I discovered. That same evening I got up to explain my abstract design. I had rehearsed it in my head and all alone in the car as I drove to school. I was well prepared. We could choose when we wanted to present and the first number I drew was lucky number 13. We were able to trade with people if someone didn't like their number. I was able to trade up to lucky number 7. Things were definitely looking up. ?????????????
Number 7 your up. I gathered my design and stood up. Suddenly my feet felt like they were glued to the floor. I actually looked down at my feet to make sure I hadn't stepped in gum or something. Note to self.....that was weird. But I quickly got my footing and made my way to the front of the class. I reached for the push pins and as I looked down at my hands I saw ten thumbs. I clumsily reached for the push pins and after a couple of failed attempts I had my design up on the board. I turned around and opened my mouth and out came a voice I didn't recognize. It was a sound somewhere in between a shaky high pitched out of tune guitar chord and a voice that hadn't had a drink of water in days. I looked down at my note cards. I had written little bulletin points to remind me all of the exciting things I was going to discuss about my design. But I must have picked up someones note cards because these cards where written in hieroglyphics.
All I can say is I said some words but I really have no idea what I said. The flush was in full effect along with that perspiring upper lip. When I was done with my presentation I looked at my classmates and this is what was staring back at me.
Well in the words from my favorite movie all I can say is...............
TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY!
