Sunday, July 28, 2013

One person does make a difference


My last blog post was almost two years ago.   I haven’t been blogging because although I thoroughly enjoyed it I found I couldn’t commit the necessary time.  I had started back to school to obtain my degree in Interior Design.  Obtaining a degree has been a life long goal and who would have thought that it was such an intense program that took up so much of my time and energy.   And so my blog has been left sitting gathering dust.  But I had to shake off the dust and get my voice back even if just for a minute to talk about something.....something so very important.

And so here I am today writing a blog post.   Except that today my blog post isn’t about design but rather it is about life changing events and how in a moments notice your life can be changed forever.  

One person really does make a difference.  

I realize that I am not the first person and certainly not the last person to have a personal tragedy.   So of course probably most of what I have to say on this subject is not unique.  But to me, to my family and friends our tragedy ....  our loss has been life altering and so to that end it is in my opinion important to acknowledge this fact.  

It is important to discuss how one person can affect so many people.   

He was just an average guy.....but he wasn’t.    He wasn’t the smartest guy...but he was.  

What was it about him that made him memorable?  What was it about him that made you want to know him better?  What was it about him that made him so unpredictable?

I would love to put him up on a throne and tell you he was perfect....but he wasn’t.   
I would love to tell you he was one of those people who had life all figured out....but he didn’t.   

And so here is this guy....this man....this friend....this brother....this cousin...this grandson....this son.....my son....and in a moment he is gone.  

 And we are left with what?

We are left of course with his memory.   Memories that are both good and bad.....both happy and sad......full of joy and tears.    

We are left with an emptiness  ....  a void so shockingly huge.  It is like a huge punch in the stomach one that takes the breath out of you.  That is what we are left with.....an emptiness......a void.   Void is such an ugly word but the only word that defines the fact that he is gone and we are left in this vacuous state. 

This feeling of emptiness is universal amongst all of us who knew him.  It is this emptiness that affects us.  His memory is still with us.   But his vitality, his exuberance for all things and the fact that we will no longer get to experience these things with him has left an inexplicable void.  

This is what affects all of us.   But it also affects people who never knew him personally.      

Because you have this void .... your life has been altered.  You now think and act different because of this void.  This void is affecting everything you do and thereby affecting how you interact with people.  Consciously or not because your life has been altered you now behave differently.   I would bet most of us think twice now about everything.   We have been rudely reminded that life is unpredictable and it can all be gone in a blink of an eye.  

I don’t think he ever thought he would have affected so many people.   He was just an average guy going through life trying to figure things out as best he could.  He was funny.  He was witty.  He was sarcastic.  He would be the first to tell you he didn’t have all the answers ....... and then laugh and say it would be damn boring to have all the answers.

He was an average guy.....but he wasn’t.    

He was just one of many in the crowd......but he wasn’t.

This man that has left a void has and will forever make a difference.   

That is his legacy.   

An average guy who no one will ever forget .

An average guy that has taught us so much.

He made a difference.   Every day he makes a difference.


Brian that is your legacy...the difference you made

....in my life....

.....in everyone’s life.....

.....in the future....