I was doing some serious reassessment after realizing I might have bitten off a little more than I could chew. But how could that be. Come on......I told everyone I could handle this. I laid out a carefully crafted argument on my blog post titled "Thinking in the Abstract". So there really was no going back.
So I thought maybe I could just have an imaginary conversation with Clint Eastwood. Because you know I do these kind of things often.
SO HERE IT GOES.
Clint OMG........You are here. Sitting right next to me on the ride home from school. Well this is going to be a little easier than I thought.
Me: So Clint hey I am not sure what to do? If you have just a minute or two I would like to get your opinion on my current situation. I am in interior design school and I am suffering from a little case of striving to be an over achiever.
Imaginary Clint Eastwood: “You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?"
Me: Lucky........uh........ I had not really thought about it like that.
Imaginary Clint: “If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”
Me: Uh.........right.
Imaginary Clint: “"A good man always knows his limitations”
Me: Exactly.
Imaginary Clint: “I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will.”
Me: Okay. I think I get what you are saying.
Imaginary Clint: “Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.”
Me: That is great advice!!! Thanks Clint.
And suddenly Clint was gone just as quickly as he arrived. Before I knew it I was home and carrying my traveling suitcase into the house. My husband greeted me at the door and helped me bring all my belongings into the house. The strangest thing was he had this aura around him that reminded me of Clint Eastwood. Truth be told I can always count on my husband to tell me the truth. He has the uncanny way of knowing when to comfort me and when to give me a reality check. And God knows I needed a reality check.....maybe an attitude adjustment.....or even a swift kick in the rear.
So bottom line I have been a little overwhelmed. I thought I really could handle the work load. I was being a bit of a weenie.......and yes I have had a temper tantrum too.
I do my homework and projects in my lovely living room. It is a gorgeous room filled with natural light, the ceiling is pitched with heavy beams. It has windows that look out into my large park like backyard that is full of wildlife. My drafting table is set up in the middle of the room and against an eight foot slider I have placed my work table. My favorite chair is right next to my work table so I can sit and take a break now and again and look at my design magazines.
It is a great place to be creative and start honing my skill set. It is where I spend most of my time when I am not in school. It is also where I talk to my self and yes whine and complain. Unfortunately for my husband who works mostly from home he gets to hear my rants. The drama was in full peak this week. I finally came into where my husband was working and announced loudly......That's it.......I officially suck at drafting. I can't do it. Maybe I am too old. He didn't say a word. He just listened while I whined. Eventually I would get back up and head back to my table and get back at it. This happened several times over a day or so. But I eventually completed my drafting and realized that the only person holding me back was me.
The week started off fine. Tuesday I was given 4 major projects with the same due date. I won't get into describing my projects right now but I could feel a little panic attack beginning as each project was assigned. I started getting sweaty palms and that funny feeling in my chest. I knew I was in trouble.
So I picked up the phone and texted Clint.......ehrrr.....I mean my husband for some advice. I was all emotional and he was all logic. He didn't tell me what to do. What he did do was give me a reality check and helped give me the courage to admit maybe I had taken on to much. When I whined I wasn't having fun....he chimed back "If school was fun everyone would be doing it."
So after my conversation with my husband I went to see my instructor and informed him of my decision to drop one of my classes. It was a great conversation. He fully supported my decision and then we had a conversation about my goals. He said I was doing fine in drafting and was going to have no trouble getting through the class. We talked about my goals of transferring to SCAD. He said he would write me a letter of recommendation and help me assemble my portfolio. I left the meeting humbled, excited and back in control of my emotions.
The week went through a spectrum of The Good, Bad and Ugly.
The Good: I had lightened my work load by dropping a class. I also received some of my assignments back and received A's on both of them.
The Bad: The only bad news is I still have 3 major projects due on the same day. Although I know they are going to be challenging I know I can accomplish the tasks.
The Ugly: My attitude which included whining, temper tantrums and just being a weenie.
OK so I am back on track. Things are looking good. Tomorrow is another day. I am as sure as the sun rises and sets that this week I will receive more assignments. I am ready.......
GO AHEAD MAKE MY DAY.
